"Was binding a part of the sexual fulfillment, or just a way to ensure compliance? And, were the murders just a way to cover up the sexual assaults, or is killing part of the fulfillment?" - M.B. of WA

I sometimes enjoy binding, and being bound, in my fantasies. But, I have never under any circumstances --- not even consensually --- engaged in bondage for pleasure. Not because of any particular reason (i.e. I'm not opposed to it or anything), but mostly just because it never really interested me that much, and I never met anyone who was that into it either. In my fantasies it is much easier to do, so sometimes I do (fantasize about bondage) or watched "bondage" porn. But it has never been a "preference" for me, or strong interest. The same is true for killing (with the fantasy aspect to a much lesser degree, but sometimes present), and torture. When I was in prison, the first time, I fantasized about torture for pleasure much more. I suppose it appealed to my deep anger and hatred. But, after I got out, I found that the physical violence was not as satisfying as the psychological violence (i.e. inflicting fear was more "fulfilling" than inflicting pain). Besides, I could inflict far more fear than I ever could pain! Killing was never "fulfilling" in itself, so it was both to evade capture, and to inflict fear upon society, which is where the real "fulfillment" came from. While I admit that I enjoyed the sex, it was never about the sex. It was always about inflicting fear upon those who inflicted pain upon me. In a very real sense, I was a terrorist. And because of that, to this day I strongly sympathize with terrorists. Even while I abhor their "cause" (religious excuse), I understand their need to inflict fear. Hint: it's not political, or even fanatical. It's personal. Very personal. It's all about a sense (or delusion) of justice, and volition.