"What would you like to see happen to your blog once you're 'released'?" - Z.M. of Lakeland, FL

First let me say that I appreciate your thoughtful card (yes, I enjoy cats very much!) and questions. As for the fate of the Fifth Nail blogs (including the original blog from Fargo) after my "release" (a.k.a. "execution") I can only hope that the information that has been so painstakingly compiled remains available on the Internet for as long as it takes until we, as intelligent species, grow wise enough to read and understand it without judgment. Perhaps then it will become something useful and valuable, if not to help change the world into a better place to live and learn, then maybe just as a resource for understanding how our world was once sickened by so much fear and ignorance.

I have always looked far into the future while writing for the Fifth Nail blogs. I do not write for those who judge and ignorantly condemn themselves as the vast majority in this world only know how to do. I write instead to provide a resource, exposing the thoughts, feelings, memories, and experiences of an ordinary human mind infected by a profoundly sick social system for a future world where such ignorance no longer prevails. So you could say that my real hope is only that these blogs, and the world itself, somehow manage simply survive into the future. That's all.

[J.D. March 4, 2018]

"What advice would you give to someone that was going through a situation that they think will never get better?" --- Z.M. of Lakeland, FL

I don't think I'm a person anyone should be asking for advice. But, I can tell you how I deal with "hopeless" situations personally. As you probably know, I have been on "death row" for over ten years and my attorneys have nearly exhausted all of their appeals. And for the last thirteen years (since my arrest in 2005) I have lived in solitary confinement, many of those years in conditions well-known for causing severe psychological stress (i.e. little human contact, constant harassment, unappetizing food, no T.V. or radio, one blanket, and a thin mattress on a too narrow concrete slab for a "bunk", surrounded by filth and vermin like cockroaches, mold, and maggots - I'm referring mostly here to the two years I spent in Riverside County Jail in Southern California - yes, it was that bad!). And yet I have managed to maintain excellent health in body, mind, and spirit (i.e. I have no medical conditions and generally don't feel depressed).

How? By constantly remembering and choosing to focus my mind on what I HAVE, not on what I WANT and DON'T HAVE! In the worst cases, when the circumstances are so bad that all I HAVE is my mind, body, and breath, it is these things I turn to for "comfort". Some call this meditation, but I think of it as simply taking absolutely NOTHING for granted; not even the air I breathe. Each breath is an enjoyable experience all by itself. This is what works for me. But I don't expect it to work for everyone. And since it is so well-documented (as "meditation" usually") I normally don't talk (or write) about it much. So thank you for asking.

[J.D. March 4, 2018]