No, I don't think I would, but I honestly couldn't say. I can say, however, and honestly, that an important part of the reason I surrendered myself to the authorities of this world when I brought Shasta home, and accepted the imprisonment that I knew would follow - and even the possibility of death - was because it was the only way I could be sure that I wouldn't hurt more people, especially children. I knew then, only that something was "wrong" with my thinking. I was extremely confused and disoriented. I knew something was "wrong", but I did not know what was "right". So, I surrendered so others could decide what to do for me (this is exactly what I told my attorneys and the FBI when they interviewed me).
So, would I rape, or otherwise molest children if I were somehow miraculously released? No, as I said, I think not. I'd rather die than return to the state of fear and delusion that prompted my violence and impositions of the past. That has not changed since my arrest, and I seriously doubt if it ever will.
Friday, December 13, 2013
"Do you like women?" - hotairballoon, comment
Yes, but not all women. I like intelligent, thoughtful, and courageous women who enjoy like minded company. Women like the Kardashians, who think the only thing that matters is their attractiveness (i.e. "beauty" and "personality"), repulse me like I no doubt repulse them - which suits me just fine.
"Are you attracted to children?" - hotairballoon, comment
I assume you mean to ask if i am sexually aroused by children, and the answer is absolutely yes. It took me a lot of painful self-honesty before I finally was able to accept that my "attraction to children" was not the sickness I had been told it was all my life. I've already written about this self-perpetuating deception elsewhere in the Fifth Nail blogs, so I won't go into it here. But, I will say that I have come to realize that all sexual affinities, including my own for children, are learned from experience, not from any internal sickness or perversion.
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